caption of this picture,
the nut is too big for you my dear.

cute isnt it ? putting this picture first into this post to reduce the sadness. hahahahaha.

life has ups and downs. we all know that for sure. i think, my situation is much better than last few weeks. i was so stress about my studies, was upset about my result, fed up with everything.

if i could drink this potion and die in a peaceful way.


sometimes i cant help to think about, why would God want me go through these all? what are all His purposes?

all these while, i always wanted to fly overseas to study, i always wanted to. i studied very very hard for spm was because i wanted to apply for jpa scholarship and fly to somewhere else to study. and now after everything is settled, i have a strong feeling i have the chance, i dont know why. and just when this feeling is getting stronger, i dont feel like going anymore. i wanna stay here, i wanna stay at my home. i want to sleep on my own bed, in my own room, in my own house. i dont feel like leaving.

i never wanted to go UTAR, was because it is so far and i need to stay there, which is in PERAK.

i am so blur with my direction now.

what am i supposed to do?? =\

first and the last one.

im holding to this statement very strong. i want my boyfriend to be my first one, and my last one.

i have been seeing friends around me have ended their relationships once their bfs/gfs start to study in college, so i kind of believe there are more good guys in college. i want to wider my vision, and choose the best among everyone :P so i wont have one, not until i start my studies.

am i thinking too much? LOL.


i think God is challenging me. wherever i go i have attracted wrong person. how could this happen? i want to stand strong. i want the guy that God has planned for me. God, help me to resist all the temptations.


p.s. : why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart of mine? why would you make the very first scar?

Labels: crap, daily life, explosion of feelings