you dont have to win in every fight ,
you dont have to agree in every disagreement .
sometimes , you need to be rational ,
make the best decision ,
but you got to leave it , let it be ,
when everyone says you are wrong .
dont be sad ,
because you have tried your best .

yes , i feel myself being too rational . maybe if i be a little bit of irrational , how would it be uh ? fact is fact . maybe , i should give the chance , i should believe . but i feel scared , afraid . who can give me the confidence or guarantee ?


after all , all i need to do , SAVE IT before everything is too late , the only way .


p.s. : maybe their choices are correct . ok , i believe in you all , believe her too .

i think im a bit emo already ? =\

Labels: explosion of feelings, pmo, school

today is a big big big day . do you know why ?


really tak tau ah ? okok let me show you all the photos and you will know ? dont say you dont know after seeing the photos . HENTAM YOUUUU AH !

all these are his special quotes :D:D

二胡 ：拉什么鸟啊 ？难听死了 。
erhu : LA SHEN ME NIAO ? NAN TING SI LE .

笛子 ：吹什么鸟 ？
dizi : CHUI SHEN ME NIAO ?

番薯 ， 真的是死蠢啊。
FAN SHU , ZHEN DE SHI SI CHUN AH .

haha . i dont think i will forgot how he say those words :D:D

hmm . let me introduce the instrument i play in school . proudly present , THE DOUBLE BASS ~

my boyfriend leng zai leh ? but the one i used isn't look like this . mine is made of wood one . this double bass is too shinning , can be used as a mirror ! and normally instruments that are supposed to made of wood , they tried to use other materials to make it so that it will look stun like how this double bass looks like , the sound of the double bass isn't that nice if compared with the wooden double bass . so , dont be jealous of those people who have instruments look stunning , they just want to show off :P

this is the chinese version of double bass called BEI GE HU . this instrument is very hard to find in malaysia because bei ge hu couldnt stand the weather of malaysia , it needs special care :D so we use cello to replace ge hu and double bass to replace bei ge hu . but the sound has not much difference actually .


i found a few unanswerable questions in the internet .


Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
why ah why ah ? hahahaha .

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
you know what . the tan chen huan answered me chicken because the question's first choice is chicken . LOL .


HAHAHA . sometimes answers are meant to assure you . answers can be the truth that make you happy or sad . answers that break your heart , answers that secure you , answers that revealing unseen-able thing . hmph ..

is there any key to your heart ? have you closed your door yet ? have you ever opened your heart to someone ? will you open the door for the people who knock your door ?


p.s. : simple words and yet meaningful :)

Labels: crap, pmo, school teachers

animals who live in ice mountain or ice area , they need hibernation every day . penguins are one of the animals . penguin needs hibernation , so do i . really want to hibernate . i wont be greedy , i wont hibernate for months like a dead corpse but one day would be enough for me seriously .

today saw penguins in the newspaper and chee seng was sharing his experience in australia trip . he went to visit penguins . gosh , penguins are not afraid of humans ! he said all the penguins were just right next to his legs . OMGGGG ! and funny thing is , penguins usually move together in a group like a family , when one of the penguins of the group falls down , the other penguins will stop , turn to the fall down penguin and standing there to wait for it to join back their group . cool uh ? i wonder how they know ? it is really weird . hahahahaha .

weather is really hot . no matter how many hours i sleep for everyday it seems to be useless because the hotness of the weather eventually will make you feel sleepy . so powerful ~ ==

i wonder why , it just a phone call . it has the ability to make my hand shake and my legs weak . what a powerful phone call . but too bad he didnt pick up the phone even though i have called like dont know how many times with different numbers . yeah , in chinese people say it is mei you yuan fen which means no fate . its like ages ago things have happened , all the feelings are fading away , the pain isnt that hurt anymore .

oh yeah , thanks to him , i have came up a conclusion .
- letting someone go is not really about how deep you love him/her . the real motive is giving both a chance to meet another special person , better person or even a perfect person for them . letting both has more colourful sky , make each other grow . oh yes , i know this theory sounds so correct . lol .


im going to burst today , no matter what . i cant stand it for any longer . aku beh tahan . to be honest , i really dont know why i feel this way , i dont feel like going there anymore , i feel unmotivated . there is nothing can make me feel like going there . i dont have that kind of passion anymore . last time , i felt guilty when i skip . but now i can just skip without feeling any guiltiness and think that my own things are more important than going there . what's wrong ? this problem not only occurs to me but most of the people around me . we dont have the passion , dont have the motivation . we begin to skip all the practices , hate going there . we even discuss about it but no one knows why . no one knows where is the problem from and why the problem can be spread to so many peoples like a virus , HIV ? WOOOOW .

to be specific , for my own self . i have put my studies first this year . i feel like myself so hardworking this year lol . SERIOUSLY . i hardly fall asleep in the class also . and people in there , no other words can be used to say about them . im totally speechless and so lazy to talk about them . pointless keep talking about them where the point is the same . they dont seem to understand us or maybe we dont seem to be understand too .

for one thing i knew it deeply in my heart is that , they got to take part of the responbility about it too . i think most of the problems are from them ? dont know . i really dont know and it seems to be i no need to know , i dont need to know and i myself dont want to know why . it hopeless even though you know because you cannot change anything .

i know i know , they are trying to bring up the young ones . yes , i am useless shouldnt be exist there at the first . but i dont regret for staying til now honestly :)

p.s. : ulcer is killing me . i wonder why all the lizard are running around in my living house . disgusting ==

p.p.s. : guys who play piano have some kind of power to attract girls . i dont know why . i always get attracted by looking at the guy when he is playing piano . not like i am falling in love with the guy but it just that they look so different when they are playing piano .

http://media.photobucket.com/image/penguins/andiinicole/Stuff/pen.gif?o=33
evil penguins :D

Labels: daily life, explosion of feelings, him, pmo

we tried our best and yet we knew this was not we wanted or expected . oh yeah . they were great and powerful . maybe everyone of us really did our best but still ..


this wasnt the first time things werent go on my way or disappointed . i know i know no matter how much effort you have put or time you used , sometimes , SOMETIMES , you really cannot get back what you want . for one thing , i am so sure about is , i have did my best , more than anything , i have crossed the border line of mine . but i dont know why this time it can hurt me so deeply .

cannot imagine how disappinted was our teacher .

im not regretting , im just disappointed . i cannot stop myself from that feeling . when i went back yesterday night , i did a few thing which i thought i could make myself sleep . i cooked maggie mee , MY DINNER , continued my drama . i only fell asleep because of tiredness . and today morning , i made myself lying on the bed and covered myself with blanket .

you cry when you feel sad or disappointed .
you feel worst when you couldnt cry .


this is the first time i have been moody for so long .



p.s. : ignore me . i will be ok .

Labels: 2008, daily life, explosion of feelings, pmo

less than one week to competition . ADD MORE OILLLLLL !

people , pray for US , please .


yesterday went to the concert , extremely hot concert , directly translated from chinese . hahahahaha . gonna post pictures soon .

i saw my husband !!! XD my darling JJ is so adorable . i like his dimple . AHHHH ! i want to hug him . couldnt stop myself from screaming . haha . i was out of control that time XD


told ya , he is another perfect guy . love you , JJ ! <33

Labels: 2008, daily life, pmo

i think something has happened . i dont know what is that . sounds so serious .


Father Lord , i bring PMO onto your hand Lord , Lord i pray that You will give the strength and power that everyone of us need in our lives , bless everyone of us with Your blessings and fill us with all we need . Lord , i also pray that you would open those parents' heart who dont let their children come for practice , open their mind and their hearts , Lord , soften their hearts Lord . I pray for all the pmo members will not have any obtacles or problem with their parents from coming for practice because You , Lord will help them to remove , help them to solve it . and Lord I trust in You , i also bring coming competition onto your hand Lord , i pray that You would give Your wisdom to our conductor , teacher and all the leaders , so that they can a correct decision , Lord i also pray that You would help them to guide us leading on the way to win the first prize . Lord , we really want to win that competition , we desire to . lead us Lord . even as we are practicing all the songs , Lord i pray that Your presence will also be with us , maintain the patience in everyone of us , take away all the things that will distract us or the boredom in our hearts . Lord i also pray that You would help everyone of us to concentrate in all practices and help us to show our best and do our best . there's nothing impossible with You , Lord . onace again i commit the whole pmo onto Your hand , Lord , bless us more and more and fill and touch everyone of us , in Jesus' name i pray , Amen .


p.s. : i found out already . GOSH , Lord , dont make it happen please please please . i know i am selfish but i dont want it to happen . she's such a good friend to fun with .

Labels: pmo

avril's concert was awesome . it was wonderful although it was so short . i think 1 hour+ ?
guess so . she made me waited for 4 hours+ and yet i still have the mood to enjoy the concert . not bad uh ? haha . love you avril ! :)

saw someone . it was quite suprised me . want to listen to story ? come , sit down and listen to me :D

it was friday . didnt stay back for pmo practice because my friend said she wanted to go there ealier and she's the only transport i have to follow her . at first it was really disaster . we decided to go pyramid to meet up with others then straight go stadium together . i didnt bring the ticket and i only realised it when my friend reminded me . it was like , oh dead ?! so i went back home with my friend's mum's car and her mum was willing to send me to pyramid again because the bridge which cross to pyramid there is really dangerous , someone was murdered at there . thank God for it . at the end i got the ticket and flied back to pyramid , that time there was traffic jam you know ?! bloody . ok nvm , it didnt influence my mood because i kept thinking of Avril :D haha . so , ran to pyramid , the car was there already . i dont dare to sound in the car except saying sorry . my friend said the car has waited us for about 15 mintues and its considered quite long . =X so on the way , remained silence which i dont use to . haha . once i reached there , there was quite number of people already . i decided to sms him because i knew he will be coming for this concert . i was shocked and kept looking around when i saw the msg . this is our conversation .

he , me .
hey , are you coming for Avril's concert ?
yeah , why ? who are you ? [i didnt tell him my new number]
oh really ? where are you now ? well , is me jane .
outside of the stadium already . which jane are you ? [ it was kinda hurt because he didnt remember me]
[ i kept looking around , heart was beating very very fast , leg couldnt stand properly and hand couldnt hold the handphone properly because both are shaking ! once i saw him , it was even worse . kept staring at him without his notice . until my friends asked me to que up at the entrance there . so have to go loh :( ]

i cannot believe that i still the feelings . the feelings that only i can feel when i see him . dead . thought i have let him go . saw his blog . he never mentioned my name . hate him . ==

im having a very big problem .
can anyone give me the motivation ? i dont feel like going to pmo practice . nothing can push me up . i need someone or something to push or pull me . last time i used to go because my juniors need me and now they all are in study leave and i feel empty when i go there .

lately im in love with a song , fall for you by second serenade .

because tonight will be the night
yes , i know the night
that i will fall for you , over again
well , it happened , again
dont make me change my mind
even other people also cannot change my mind
or i wont live to see another day
you dont know how i suffered after that night , i was so moody on the next day .
i swear its true
it happened , so true or not ?
because a girl like you is impossible to find
well , guy like you is too special and no way i can find another guy like you again . you're special .
you're impossible to find .
see , you are .

the lyric rocks !


p.s. : convince convince convince !

Labels: daily life, him, pmo

i cant wait for the concert . ahhhhhh ! this concert will be the first concert that i go with my friends . haha . it makes me feel so excited about it .

today i have skipped school . muahaha . for no reason . wooooo ~ feel so right . mama is a bit beh song me because i have skipped school for so many times . =X

installation has over . all the events are over . im free now ! yeahhh ! but the way , kinda sad . i cant imagine how will the practice be without them . feel like there is something you have lost it and you dont know what is that . hmph . guess i will be miss them very much . will post pictures and my baichi dance steps when i get it . oh , im listening to when you're gone - avril . lol . people come and go , who will the person who leaves footprint in your life ? who will the most important person at last ? who will the person you lost and you can never meet them again ? who will the person who hurt you the most but you still forgive them ? who will the person who open your eyes to this cruel world , help you to grow and protect you ?

haha .. who knows ? lol .


today went to visit YeeSook , the one who has lukemia and transmitted into hospital for 2 weeks , i think so . i tell you , i can't forget the look when he was suffering , til now . the look has been like printed in my mind and i can't deleted it . guess he felt pain because of dont know what . but one thing when i saw he wanted to vomit but he couldnt , suffered from the pain , i felt like helping but i couldnt . i kept smiling to him because i dont know what to say . you know lah , people like me dont know how to comfort people and you ask me to comfort that person is like you are asking me to take a knife and murder him . lol . serious . i dont know how to comfort people , if a sad person comes to me , either i will not say anything and sitting next to him/her or else i will be very straight forward to tell the person why he/she shouldnt feel sad . like the phrase in chinese , yi zhen jian xue , you can see the blood by using a needle with one poke . lol . hope he can go through this difficult lah . i have made a card for him , hundred percent hand made , and copied down all the lame jokes to make him smile . he can only continue the fighting with positive thinking . hope he can recover soon . i dont know why suddenly i will so care about him . its not like he is my boyfriend or future husband or i like him and i dont really know him . lol . when the time he said it is cancer and i was stunned there a few seconds and i tried to joke with it but failed . maybe he is the first person that i knew has cancer and i never share gospel with him . pastor said we should share the gospel of God with anyone eventhough you dont know them . i have never share with him . so , he cannot die first . at least he has to know about Jesus before he leaves this world . i know he isnt that serious but i really scared . i dont want any of my friends go to hell . i want them go to heaven and enjoy the Jesus's love or anything . well , i have shared my gospel with writting it on the card . the only thing i didnt do was i didnt pray in front of him . i know i should but i dont know how to open my mouth . sorry . mama had nagged me because of that . because i kept saying how much i worry about him and how about i feel guilty because i didnt share gospel with him . haha . now , guess he had read the card and i felt better after visiting him . guess he is getting serious but i know Lord will help me to strength and guide him . hope he can recover and back to school very soon . since he is such a good and nice guy , he should have a healthy body right ? he should live longer in this world right ?

guess what , his mama said he is fat and he needs to diet . haha . his mama is cute .

let everyone of us pray for him ok ? lets gather our power and support him ! :)



p.s. : TEOH YEE SOOK , you better eat food so that you can recover fast , if not i will be holding a bb gun and pointing at your head . muahaha . :D i know you cant read this but still i want to say it . :P

p.p.s. : i used 3 hours plus to make his card and i am very satisfied with it . the card looked so nice ! :D

Labels: friends, pmo

now is July . which means half of the year has gone ! time flies fast . or maybe i should say , too fast ? mid term exam has over . next gotta prepare for final . ahhhhhh !

Labels: daily life, pmo